Statue
by L.MacQ
Summary: Her scent alerted him of her presence before her voice did. A faint hint of peppermint filled the room just before she chirped. "Hey, B."  Birkhoff/OC, TwoShot.
1. Chapter 1

Her scent alerted him of her presence before her voice did. A faint hint of peppermint filled the room just before she chirped. "Hey, B."

"I told you not to call me that." Birkhoff rolled his eyes as his bubbly partner dropped into the computer chair next to him. It hadn't taken him long to learn there was no arguing with Winifred McKellen. She was too…upbeat. At first it had bothered him, but over the course of a few weeks he had warmed to the woman. Slightly. She seemed to know it too, taking every opportunity to tease and flirt with the reclusive, somewhat rude, computer geek.

She nudged his leg lightly with the tip of her peep-toed heel. "Want me to go back to your first name?" He set his jaw, but relaxed a little as she beamed at him. "Come on, Birkhoff, play nice."

"Shouldn't you be working, McKellen?"

Tossing him a wink, Fred nodded. "Uh-huh. So, how 'bout it?"

"How 'bout what?" Birkhoff asked, pursing his lips.

The woman leaned over, giving him a generous view of her cleavage. "Just this once? We're all alone…no one would hear me."

"You are not calling me Seymour."

With a giggle, she relented, "Fine." But the smile didn't leave her brightly painted red lips. "How 'bout a kiss then?"

"Winifred." His frown lightened into a smirk as he blushed. "Get to work." The young man turned back to his computer, shaking his head.

She crossed her legs, flashing a hint of skin as her skirt was rather short. "God. Does it ever seem like we're just doing the same thing over and over to you?"

He shrugged, "It's not so bad."

"I didn't say it was bad, B, I said it was tedious." She straightened up and prepared to work.

"Don't call me-"

He flushed as her lips planted on his cheek.

Birkhoff's eyes darkened at her, "We're not supposed to-"

"Yeah, yeah, distance and sexual harassment, blah blah blah, I know, B." She smiled at him, rubbing the mark she had left with her thumb, "Had to shut ya up somehow, Seymour."

"Don't call me that!"

Giggling, the woman went back to the monitor as he continued to glare at her. "You really need to learn to have some fun, pussycat."

"And let's lay off the pet names while we're at it, okay?" Birkhoff said. Repressing a sigh, he went back to work. He'd heard all the warning about fraternization. He knew the risks involved and quite frankly, she wasn't worth it. Yeah, she was gorgeous, and …friendly, but she wasn't worth losing his head over. Hard as it was to resist those legs… Shaking his head, Birkhoff tore his appreciative gaze from them and set back to work.

For the next few hours, the only sound in the room besides the clacking of keys was the odd sigh.

Winifred leaned back in her seat, a tired hand rubbing her eyes. All the florescent lighting was really starting to get to her. Pushing back black bangs she sighed, "Goddamn."

"What's up?" Birkhoff glanced at her.

"I am so bored." She moaned, earning a chuckle. Ignoring this, she went on whining, "Can we go back to talking? Please? For the love of god."

"Fine." The man nodded, stilling tapping away at the keys in front of him.

"Awesome. So," Her full red lips twisted into a smirk, "What're you doing for your birthday?"

He rolled his eyes. "My birthday's not for another two months, Fred."

"So? Doesn't mean we can't discuss it." She smiled when the light reflected off his glasses. It was cute. "How old ya gonna be?"

"I'm not discussing this with you."

"Wow. That old, huh, B?"

Birkhoff turned to glare at her, but it softened at her expression. "Too old for you, maybe."

"Hey! I am a perfectly legal adult, I assure you." She brushed his bangs back from his face affectionately. "Besides, I like my men a little older and geekier."

"Geekier is not a word, McKellen."

"Yes it is. It's an adjective." His lips twitched and she beamed at him. "Was that a smile, B?"

"No."

"Liar!" She hopped from her chair to his, effectively straddling, and pinning, him.

The man blushed faintly as he instinctively caught her hips. "What the hell are you doing? Get off me!"

Winifred laughed at his distress, not really caring about his concerns at the moment. She did, however, lean back slightly when she realized she was about to suffocate him with her breasts.

"I mean, it, Winifred, off." He was glaring at her again. She didn't particularly care for that, and with a steady hand she slipped his glasses off. "Winifred." Birkhoff repeated sternly. "I am technically your boss you know."

"Oooh... Kinky." She cooed at him, "You know…"

"Here we go," he murmured, leaning back at she put his glasses on. He was trying not to look at her but he saw the light glimmer off the rims as she rose them to her face. She followed him back, smirking as his hands slid down her hips to her thighs.

"If you don't like me, why not have me _removed_?" Her head tilted causing her dark hair to brush against his face.

Birkhoff stayed quiet. He'd been waiting for this question. In all honesty he was still unsure how to tell her. "You know what they do to people who are dismissed, right?"

She nodded.

"There is no other part of Division you could work for. If I had you removed, you'd be…well," He bit his lip as she finished for him.

"Killed?"

"Yeah."

Fred smirked at him as she pulled his glasses off. "Good to know you don't want me dead, B. Regardless of how annoying I am."

He shrugged, "You're not that bad, I guess."

"Holy shit!" She cackled, "Coming from you, God Complex, that was almost a compliment!"

Birkhoff felt his lips twitch again as she slid his glasses on up face. "You think you're so cute, don't you?"

"Oh, darlin', I'm way past cute." She pushed the glasses up his nose, "I'm freakin' adorable."

Pursing his lips, he eased her off his lap. "Yeah, yeah."

She stayed leaning over him though. "Thank you."

Dark brown eyes glanced up at her. Her soft features were surprisingly sober, and he nodded.

_-The Next Day-_

It was her first day off since she'd been brought on, and Fred was looking to wander aimlessly. She'd never really seen much of Division outside the tech room. She was far from impressed. After being dazzled by a room full of high tech computers, the white walls left her rather underwhelmed.

But walking in on a cat fight changed all that.

Winifred quirked a brow as she sauntered up to a small make shift boxing ring. She found a small circle of people who were watching two women go at it like they'd just found out they were both tappin' the same ass. Fred's eyes dropped to the closer woman's legs and she nudged the beauty next to her. "Ten bucks says she'll lose 'er legs."

"What?" The tall brunette blinked at her, "What're you talking about, Michelle-"

"Is about to collapse. Her trainer should pull her." Fred brushed some of her black bangs from her eyes.

As if on cue, the blonde's knees gave way and she stumbled back into the crowd. Most of them parted, but Fred caught her with firm hands.

"No more," The girl moaned.

"No whining, come on." Winifred grabbed her hands and started hopping up and down. "Jump."

"What? No, it's over." The girl panted, but the stubborn woman wasn't about to listen to that.

Ignoring her, she slipped her hands from her hands to her forearms and began doing it quicker. "I said jump, you want your legs back don't you?"

Hesitantly, the blonde joined in, and after about a minute she was fine. Winifred gave her a stern whap on the ass and sent her back into the ring.

"How'd you do that?"

Winifred glanced at the woman to her left curiously, "I used to box. Her legs weren't getting enough circulation."

"I'm Nikita." The woman smirked, offering her hand, "You new around here?"

"Fred, and kind of. So…" She turned her blue eyes back to the ring, "Is this like, the exercise room or something?"

"Training room." The Asian beauty corrected. "Just how new are you?"

She shrugged in response, "New enough, I guess. You guys are recruits?"

Nikita nodded, smirking. "Yeah. You wanna grab some lunch?"

They pair left without noticing a set of interested grey eyes on them. Percy smirked as his prized pupil escorted the tech newb out of the room. Turning on his heel, he made his way to confront his head computer geek.

Birkhoff quirked a brow at Percy, but didn't stand. Snidely, he asked, "Something I can do for you, sir?"

"Just checking in," He motioned for the other men to leave. They did so soundlessly, without questioning his motives. The odd man shot Birkhoff a sympathetic glance, but most went on their way without acknowledging his presence.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, he pursed his lips as his superior spoke.

"How's your newbie fitting in?"

"Fine," Birkhoff said stiffly. He didn't like where this was going. "Why?"

"Oh, you know how the rumor mill goes." Percy smirked, enjoying the younger man's discomfort. "She's not distracting any one, is she?"

"Not really. She's a little chatty, but okay, I guess. Why the sudden interest?" He spun in his chair to look at him. His dark eyes glinted at him suspiciously behind his glasses.

Percy shrugged, "I've seen her interacting with some of the recruits…" His smirk widened as Birkhoff paled slightly, "she seemed to fit in with them. Perhaps she could serve the Division in more…hands on ways."

"She'd never go for that, she loves it here."

"Is that right? Then why is she having lunch with Nikita and not one of your glossy eyed computer experts?"

Quiet, Birkhoff looked back at his computer. There was no fighting it. If Percy wanted her, he'd get her. One way or another. "I got work to do." The younger man said smoothly, and went back to the task he had been working on before his boss entered the room.

Percy stared at him a moment before shaking his head and leaving. If Birkhoff had asked, he may have considered letting her stay in the tech department. Ultimately he would've forced the girl's hand into choosing his way, but perhaps he would've allowed her a few more weeks in the young man's life.

_-The Next Day-_

Fred blinked at him. "What, why?"

Birkhoff shrugged.

"Uh-uh! That's not an answer! You had me-" She faltered when a few passersby shot them curious looks, and quickly pulled him into a supply closet, "Transferred! Why? I mean, I know I crossed a few lines, but-"

"It wasn't my decision." He admitted lowly, not looking at her. "Percy wants you. So now you're his."

"Can't you talk to him? I can't kill people, B." Her hands caught his and held them tightly. "Please, just-please, B."

He swallowed and shook his head. "I can't."

Winifred's bottom lip quivered a moment and she turned her face from him in shame. Dropping his hands, she let out a sigh. "Fuck it."

Before he could totally register what was happening, her arms were around his neck. Unexpectedly pulled into a tight embrace, Birkhoff didn't respond a moment. The woman didn't seem to notice, or mind rather, as she held him. Her shoulders shook as she began to cry.

"Come on, Fred, don't do that," He pulled her closer as the sobs got a bit more violent. "You'll be fine, I mean, it can't be that bad." Winifred shook her head as he kissed her brow. Brushing her hair back, he pulled away. He cupped her face with firm hands, forcing her to look at him. "You're gonna be fine. Okay, just- just try and stay positive."

She scoffed, but a chuckle soon followed. "You're really bad at this."

"Yeah, I know." Birkhoff sighed. Running a hand threw his hair, he bit his lip.

"Maybe it won't be so bad…" Winifred tried, but even to her own ears her voice seemed less sure than normal. "I mean, it's not like we'll never see each other."

"Yeah." He nodded, "I mean, we'll see each other all the time."

The door of the supply closet suddenly popped open, causing the two of them to flinch away from the bright light.

"Well," A cold feminine tone cut through the air. "What do we have here?" Her cool eyes went from the woman to the man before they rose to meet Birkhoff's, "Fraternizing, are we?"

"He was just giving me one last thrill before I'm thrown to the dogs." Winifred sassed, putting her hand on Birkhoff's. When she realized the woman's gaze was suddenly on her, she lightened up a tad, "We were just saying goodbye."

"Goodbye?" she echoed with a fine brow raised. "Are you going somewhere?"

"With you, I suspect." Fred offered her a tight smile, before giving Birkhoff a kiss on the cheek, "See ya 'round, Seymour."

He nodded, never taking his eyes off Amanda. "See ya."

The redhead smiled coldly at him before ushering the young woman out of the closet. With one last glance over her shoulder, Winifred followed her out. Birkhoff gave her a strained smile as the door closed, leaving him in the dark.

_**Author's Note:**_ _Seymour _was what they called Birkhoff on the Canadian series, and I told it would be fun to throw it in. Because honestly, who wouldn't be ashamed of that name? You know how tempted I was to make a _Suddenly Seymour _joke? Really, really tempted. There's a second part to this, that I will only post if this gets any recognition. As well as an up coming series on Birkhoff after Vindicated is done. Also, please tell me if anyone was OOC.


	2. Chapter 2

_-Two Months Later-_

Birkhoff froze. She was coming right for him, talking animatedly with another recruit…a male recruit. A wide smile lit up her face, her black hair pulled back into a high ponytail.

Biting his lip, he ducted into the men's room. He leaned against the wall, listening for them to pass. Her voice faded down the hall and with a sigh he opened the door. Poking his head out, he caught a flash of her pale legs before she rounded a corner.

"I don't get why you're so intent on talking to him, anyway. I mean, you guys knew each other like, three weeks." The Cleaner frowned. "You've known me two months and you haven't even made a pass at me." He smirked at down her, "And given your track record, that's a little insulting."

Her blue eyes rolled skyward as she chuckled, "I just want to make amends before I go out on my first mission."

"Ah." He nodded, "Nerves. You'll be fine. Just don't get shot at... or shot. That would suck."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Want some advice?"

"Duh." Winifred glanced up at the considerably taller man. "What should I do about him?"

"I meant about the mission."

"Oh," She shrugged, "Then no. So what should I do about B?"

"Catch him off guard." Owen smirked, "And be naked. He'll pay more attention to you if you're naked."

"Thanks, that's…that's really helpful." She snickered, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. "Did you come up with that all by yourself, or has Playboy deluded you in to thinking that kind of thing really happens?"

"Can it be both?" He elbowed her lightly in the side, "But seriously, Birkhoff? Couldn't you pick some with, I don't know, a personality?"

"He has a personality!" The woman snapped, "It goes quite well with his god complex! Besides," Her lips twisted into a smirk, "When you're as gorgeous as he is, you don't need a personality."

Owen stared at her. "Birkhoff?" He blinked, repeating, "You think _Birkhoff_ is gorgeous?"

She smiled at him, nodding. "Uh-huh."

The Cleaner pursed his lips, but the corners of them twitched upwards in amusement. "Really?"

"Yes!" She stuck her tongue out in good humor and shoved him playfully, "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"You like him. Like, really like-like him?"

"Owen."

"Well," He wrapped his arms around Fred's shoulders, "We'll just have to find more…covert ways to deal with him." A fine brow rose at him as Owen smirked at her, "I know where his hiding place is."

_-Hours Later-_

She wasn't naked. She refused to be naked. No matter how much Owen whined. Instead, she sat on a couch in a private back room of Division, in her workout wear. Was it her fault that the yoga pants clung a little tighter than necessary? Of course not. And could she help it if her tank top left little to the imagination? Damn right she couldn't. Her head lifted as the man in the doorway froze. Birkhoff's mouth fell open at the sight of her, and he almost fled. But his feet stayed rooted to the spot when she beamed at him.

"Hey, B."

"What are you doing here?" He shut the door quickly, hoping no one had seen her yet. This would be easier if they were alone.

Winifred smirked at him, leaning back into the couch. "What can I say? I wanted to_ Sey-Mour_ of Birkhoff."

"You can't be here," Birkhoff stormed over to her and took a firm hold of her arm. Pulling her up, he ordered, "Come on."

"You've been avoiding me for the past two months, B." She wretched her arm from his grasp and frowned at him. "You can talk to me for two minutes."

"Why should I?"

Winifred's brows wrinkled as she met his cold stare. "What?"

"I said, why should I?" His dark eyes sharpened behind his glasses, "What's the point?"

"Uh, we're friends?" She pointed out, "At least we _were_, before you started blowing me off."

Birkhoff scoffed at her, "You really can't take a hint can you?"

"Apparently not." Crossing her arms, she told him, "Why don't you spell it out for me?"

"I'm not fuckin' interested, okay?"

Heat flooded her cheeks as her blue eyes widened, "What?"

"I'm not interest in you." He leaned over her, disgust evident on his features, "I don't want you. Get out."

"Fuck you," She glared up at him. "No wonder everyone warned me about you."

"Yeah, I'm such an asshole for not wanting to fuck the local tramp," Birkhoff felt a pang of shame as he watched her turn away from him. But he held her forearm tight. She had to get it through her head. They couldn't be together. They couldn't even be friends. It was too risky. He caught her arm as she moved pass by him, "Is it true you were picked up for…what was it?"

"Let me go." Winifred murmured, "You've made your point, just. Just let me go."

He ignored her, demanding in a low voice, "What was it?"

"You know. Don't make me say it." Her lip quivered as she began trying to force his hand off her.

Frowning, he let her go. "Get out."

Not needing to be told a third time, she skirted around him and darted out of the room. The man flinched when the door slammed closed. Falling back onto the couch, he groaned. He cursed everyone he could think of. Percy for moving her. Amanda for telling him to shoot her little 'infatuation' in the head before it flourished. Mostly himself for not having enough spine to tell them both to go to hell when he had the chance. His guilt was only magnified when he noticed the lone cupcake on his table; a single, unlit candle poking out of it, and a bright blue envelope next to it.

Scowling, he gave the coffee table a rough kick, knocking them both across the room.

_-The Next Day-_

The recruits stood in a line up, listening closely as Percy directed his orders. Eyes forward, backs straight, none of them looked the least bit intimidated by their upcoming missions. Birkhoff frowned at the sight of them. He didn't know she had a mission that day. He eyed his screen. Her picture was zoomed in on, enlarged compared to the others. She didn't look scared. Not even a little. Seymour envied her. He watched as Percy dismissed the rookies. The first thing Winifred did was turn and smile to the woman on her left. He knew her. Nikita. They were seen together often enough. Frowning, he clicked off the camera.

The next four hours were some of the longest of his life. Every so often his eyes would flicker to the elevators, expecting the brunette to exit them, smiling and laughing along with Nikita. But she didn't. He wasn't on security detail this week, it wasn't his shift. Cracking his knuckles, he sighed and spun in his chair. God how long could it take to take out one tiny little mob boss?

The thought had barely passed through his mind before he saw Michael jog by. Birkhoff sat up straighter as the man ducted into the elevator, phone tight to his ear as he, Seymour assumed, bellowed out orders to someone.

"Just a little complication." Percy told him from behind. Birkhoff hadn't even heard him come in. He adjusted his tie with a sniff, "It'll be fine."

But it wasn't. Over the course of forty five painstaking minutes Seymour stood in the doorway of the computer room, watching the elevator doors attentively. One by one the recruits filed back in. Birkhoff met Nikita's eyes as she came in alone. She dropped his stare almost immediately, but not before he caught the flash of grief that hazed over at the sight of him.

Without second thought, he rushed down to the medical bay. It was unusually busy. More recruits had been injured than he expected. Faltering a moment, he moved out of the way of a nurse. "Sorry."

A hand fell on his shoulder, and he spun around to face Amanda. "Come with me." She told him sternly.

He frowned, but followed as she led him into a backside room. It didn't take him long to figure out he had been ushered into the morgue. His eyes landed on a slight body laid out on a table, covered by a thin white sheet. His stomach turned and he took a step back as he noticed the blood staining it. "I don't-"

She ignored him, pushing him closer to the body. "You have to say goodbye. It helps the grieving process."

"I don't want to." He muttered, wincing and looking away as Amanda pulled the sheet back. He closed his eyes, but not before catching the sight of her placid, pallor features.

Birkhoff cringed as Amanda leaned over his shoulder. "It's better this way. That she go before you get too attached. Birkhoff, what you fail to realize that this is, in many ways, a lesson. You just don't see it right now."

"Oh, yeah?" He spat, choking back a sob as he opened his eyes. They landed on Fred's face, completely devoid of any make up. She looked so different without her normal red lipstick. He raised a hand to brush her black hair off her shoulder, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want to touch her. It seemed too…personal. After what he had _said_… "What could I possibly learn from this?"

"People are expendable, Birkhoff," Amanda told him. "The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be." She gave his shoulder a pat in an aloof manner before stepping away, "I'll give you a moment."

He sighed as the woman left, and the weight of the situation hit him. He'd called her a tramp. It had been the last thing he ever said to her, and why? Because she brought him a fucking birthday card. Yeah. He could see why people warned her about him.

A few tears slipped down his face as his eyes landed on her abdomen. The white sheet had been soaked through with blood.

He really was an asshole.

_-Twenty Minutes Prior-_

"And …what is it exactly?"

Amanda smiled reassuringly at her. "It's a type of poison."

Winifred smirked, "What kind of poison?" She spun the little canister over in her fingers. "Like, a deadly poison?"

"Potentially. Should you agree to take this mission, we would use it to…" The redhead pursed her lips a moment, "assure that your former life was over."

"You want to fake my death." She speculated, "Why?"

Amanda cleared her throat delicately, "We need to assure that no one here look for you."

"You mean Seymour." Winifred said, completely sure.

"Anyone you come in contact with. This is a very delicate task. Long term surveillance can be...tricky, if people start poking around in your business."

"If I accept this mission, I'd never be able to come back." Her blue eyes lifted to Amanda's, "Would I?"

"Eventually you would."

"What if I didn't want to?" Winifred dropped the woman's stare in favor of eying the small bottle of poison. "What if I wanted to stay in New Zealand, do recon there? Could that be arranged?"

"We can iron out the details when your mission is over; assuming you agree to take it, of course." Amanda tilted her head, "You would shadow another agent for a month, then you would be tested. Assuming you pass the test," She smiled coldly at her, "You would take on a new life. It could be a chance for you to start over in a place where know one knows you. Knows your past."

Fred flushed as she thought of Birkhoff. Clearing her throat, she nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" Amanda repeated, a pleased smirk on her lips, "You agree?"

"Sure, when do I leave?"

"Right now." Amanda took the canister from her and stuck a needle in the top of it. "We'll transport you in a cargo plane. This should knock you out for about six hours. Should you wake up before you land try not to panic." She moved the young woman's dark hair back from her neck. "Any questions?"

Winifred frowned and shook her head.

Without a second thought, Amanda pushed the needle into the young woman's neck. The poison was fast acting, and soon enough, Winifred lay prone, skin paling by the second. The psychologist striped her, laid her out on the gurney, and wiped her make up off.

Nikita and Birkhoff would be down soon to check on her. To say goodbye.

_**A/N:**_ First off…I love my Sey-Mour joke. I just…I just do. Second, I can totally see Amanda doing something like this, so I put it in. Originally, I was going to kill her but I got kind of attached, besides, I might make a series about her return(yes, no?) but I'm going to wait until I'm through with my ASC series first. Third; Was it okay Owen was there? I couldn't think of anyone who would jam with Winifred but him. WE ALL WANT TO SEY-MOUR OF BIRKHOFF.


End file.
